Tuesday, October 27, 2009




A sister asked me some questions, and I felt like I needed to make a post of them. the Q's are her words and the A's are mine. The C's stand for "comment" because I didn't really think it qualified as a question, lol.

Let me know if you have specific questions for me that you want me to answer, or if you can think of something you feel like reading about.

Q: sis, u know i had to ask you this question cuz it means so much to me. In the eastern Pakistani/indian culture kids treat their mothers/fathers like they are gods...astaghfirullah! we are raised up to be extremely leech like on our parents...unlike u converts...who are indepent and thinking adults... which i think is great. how did u deal with giving the emotional blow to ur parents of putting Allah first?
A: Okay so let me clarify first, I've told my mother but not my father or my brother. I haven't actually come to the part yet where I actually have to deliver a "blow." For my mom, alhamdulillah, I knew she would accept my decision and is even pleased that I'm putting God first in my life. My dad, I know will be upset. Believing that Christ is God is more important to him than putting God first in my life. For him (and a lot of Christians that I know) belief is more important than actually walking the walk. InshaAllah when I get to the point where I break the news to my dad and bro, I will let you guys know all about it.

Q: i have to deal with the mental and emotional blow of being the "unthankful and arrogant" child...for someone who grew up with the sole intention of keeping my mom happy....this is really ur relationship with ur are u dealing with "displeasing" them?
A: I take solace in the fact that I'm trying to please my creator. I know this can be hard because mothers are right there physically in your face, but be sure that Allah subhana wa ta'ala is the most merciful and has mercy on those who believe in Him. Every hardship that is shouldered with patience and belief in Allah subhana wa ta'ala is rewarded with a blessing in this life or the next, inshaAllah.

C: sis, also...all my life i thought that kids in the west are very disobedient....but now i think i know that independence is a good people in the subcontinent worships ancestral custom sis...and their parents...not Allah. like now i kids are not allowed to marry who they want...!rather, who their parents want them to marry...i think it is ridiculous.
C: I agree with this comment for sure. Even our Prophet, salAllahu alleyhi wa salam, didn't condone forcing women to marry outside of their choice if they said no, so what right can they claim on us?

Q: i think sis the way u r dealing with ur parents is amazing. like u r trusting Allah...and working and striving..and u know it is a test...and everything will be better...a lot... is the way you are because of which ur parents cant like make u cower into not being what specifically do u keep in mind...when giving Allah prefernce to ur parents???i mean do u manage?
A: First of all, thank you, and alhamdulillah anything I have comes from Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Most of the time, I remember the part in the Qur'an where it talks about the disbelievers asking how were they supposed to do something different than what their fathers did? Wow this always hits me so hard... it makes my heart speed up so fast when I read this. I keep in mind that no matter what my parents think, or my friends, or my extended family thinks, I will have to stand in front of ALLAH SUBHANA WA TA'ALA alllllll ALONE and be accountable for my actions. Standing in front of him will be MILLIONS of times worse than standing in front of everyone on earth. InshaAllah if I stand in front of everyone on earth, it will be easier when I stand for Allah subhana wa ta'ala.

Q: like sis...u didnt give a damn when ur dad was pissed at u for considering islam.. i mean it is so cool. i mean u didnt care if u were the disobedient daugther.
A: Lol I definitely give a damn if my dad is pissed, but like I said above... I am accountable to ALLAH subhana wa ta'ala, and if my dad wants me to do something different than what Allah subhana wa ta'ala does... who is going to win in the long run? My dad, a man, or Allah, the supreme creator of the world and universe and everything that every did, does, or will exist?

Q: i mean it is as if they are blind or something???!!!?? i mean really like how do i deal with their emotional insanity and this slavery of me??? they act as if they are displeased gods or something???
A: This I'm not sure I can give you daily practical advice on. I would say make du'a that the veil is lifted from their eyes and hearts. Pray sincerely for them, especially when you are fasting, not just for your own sake but for theirs as well. Sometimes no matter how well you speak to them, you can't change them from the outside. Allah has to change their hearts first.

Q:i mean it is amazing. u r allaying ur mother's fears sis. it is like a role reversal. can u see?
i think it is amazing. u must be very string in ur iman, sis. u hope for rewards from Allah? and you hope your situation will soon be better?
A: again thank you and alhamdulillah. I think it is funny that you say role reversal, because this has been brought up to me a few times. My parents aren't old, but I often have had to treat them as my children. I cook for them so they don't eat candy all day, I remind them to pay bills, I teach them to cook. I think this is just the way my interaction is with them always. I think that all Muslims hope for reward from Allah sister, else we wouldn't be Muslims. InshaAllah the situation of all of the Muslims in our ummah will be better, ameen.


Stacy aka Fahiima said...

Thanks for sharing this convo. You have amazing iman even in this early stage of choosing Islam. I pray that Allah will make it easy for you and you will be able to keep him first in your life :-)

Rubber said...

lol sis...i think i lover you

NeverEver said...

Stacy: you are most welcome of course. Alhamdulillah wa Jazakillah Khair wa Ameen inshaAllah!!

NeverEver said...

lol sis... i know i love you :-P

thanks for asking the hard questions too, because it helps me be more aware of my motivations you know...

there are things you feel but it is good to be able to put them in words and share them.

NeverEver said...

Oh yeah and Rubber, let me know if any of that was helpful!

Rubber said...

it was thanks.

Rubber said...

u have more common sense than me

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