Monday, December 6, 2010




So a sister posted an article about homosexuality in Islam HERE. She asked us to tell her what we thought about it.

I started to compile my thoughts and it started to get pretty loonnnggg lol. So I thought I would write a post here and share the link inshaAllah.

So, in my opinion this issue breaks down into two separate ideas:
I. How I would treat gay people as a believing Muslim
II. What Islam and the Qur'an actually say about homosexuality

I. How would I treat gay people
Simply: with tolerance. Would I condemn someone who is struggling not to sin, maybe winning sometimes and losing others? Absolutely not. I have been and am in the position where I struggle daily with a certain sin(s). Would I condemn a brother who drinks but is trying desperately to stop for the sake of Allah? No. This is jihad and is something commendable!
Allah gives tests to EVERYONE. Whether you see them as good or bad, easy or hard: It makes no difference. Allah knows better than we do. He clearly told us what to do in the Qur'an subhanAllah.

However, if I see someone who tries to warp the teachings of the Qur'an to suit their viewpoint, I will not support this. It is wrong to say that something that is haraam is halal in any way, even makruh (disliked). If it is forbidden, then it is forbidden. It is our job as brothers and sisters in Islam to give gentle naseeha (advice) to help correct this, but we should not do it in a way to make others turn from Islam.

So to me, I see two categories of gay people:
a. those who realize that these actions are a sin and struggle in the way of Allah to control these actions
b. those who try to say that being homosexual is not a sin, just another way to love. This is shaytan wispering you guys. He's waswas-ing all over the place! The Qur'an is clear on this, there is no ambiguity! (as I will show in the next part) To say it is not that bad when Allah says it is crossing the line is WRONG!

II. What the Qur'an says about homosexuality:
I believe that if we are going to talk about Islam and homosexuality we should throw out some daleel (evidence). Saying things like "I don't think Allah would do this" or "I don't think it is fair for Allah to do this" is not daleel. Allah and HIS WISDOM is above what we "feel" or "think" because we do not have the knowledge. HE does, subhanAllah Alhamdulillah.

26:165-166, 168-169
"Must you, unlike other people, lust after males and abandon the wives that God has created for you? You are exceeding all bounds... So he (Lot) said, 'I loathe what you do: Lord, save me and my family from what they are doing."

In this passage, lust for men and abandoning women as mates are the only charges brought against Lot's people, and these alone are enough to cross Allah's line. Allah created man and woman for each other and He knows best why.

"His (Lot's) people came rushing towards him, the used to commit foul deeds. He said, 'My people, here are my daughters. They are more wholesome for you, so have some fear of God and do not disgrace me with my guests. Is there not a single right-minded man among you?'

When the men of the town came to take the messengers, Lot offered them his daughters (or the daughters of his people). IF rape was the main objectionable crime (as some claim), he would not offer his daughters to such a fate! Would your father offer you up to be raped? Then how can you claim that Lot, a prophet of Allah 3layhi salam, would do that?!? Rather, he was asking the men of his town to turn away from other MEN and instead have conjugal relations with the WOMEN of the tribe, which is more wholesome.

Again, for those that claim that RAPE was the issue with Lot's people and not homosexuality, note that there was not ONE SINGLE right minded man in the town. This was not an issue of rape, but rather an issue of ALL of the men lusting after each other. As they say, "you can't rape the willing."

"How can you lust after men instead of women? What fools you are!"

Here the objection is not over "lust" vs "love" as some claim, but lusting for MEN vs. lusting for WOMEN. This is a contrast between what is crossing the line and what is acceptable.

"If two men commit a lewd act, punish them both; but if they repent and mend their ways, leave them alone-God is always ready to accept repentance, He is full of mercy. But God only undertakes to accept the repentance from those who do evil out of ignorance and soon afterwards repent: these are the ones God will forgive, He is all knowing, all wise. It is not true repentance when people continue to do evil until death confronts them and then says, 'Now I repent'..."

I don't think it is coincidence that these verses appear together, and this is the verse that gave me the idea of the two kinds of homosexuals. One is the repentant person who realizes it is wrong and struggles to control themselves. The other is the repeat offender who is not actually repentant.

Allah says punish those that don't repent and repentance means
a. realizing that what you did is wrong
b. asking Allah for sincere forgiveness
c. not repeating the action

Those that try to say that homosexuality is not really "that" haraam are not fulfilling the requirements of repentance.
If you are living in sin and indulging in the same sin repeatedly, then you are, as defined by the Qur'an, not truly repentant.

Now that said: am I the judge of these people? Nope. This is just my personal view on the Qur'an from my own personal study. I am not a scholar and this is not a reproduction of someone else's research, and Allah knows better. However, I do not believe there is any ambiguity. Allah forgives and punishes where he will, so "wait if you wish, I too am waiting (52:31)" and Allah will be the best of judges.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Awesome Website

Salam sisters,


I found a great website mashaAllah. Check it out!

Monday, November 22, 2010

How to Hijab: Wrap Up



So ladies, this is the end of How to Hijab. For now anyway. Maybe inshaAllah one day I will add an appendix about How to Niqab :-P

I've shown you how I made it to where I am. Also, I would like to talk about the timeline involved with this.

I started learning about Islam about 8 or 9 months before I converted. I almost immediately started with step one at that point and I got to step 6 by the time I converted. So it took me about 8 months to wear hijab full time. It took me another month or so after I converted to get to step 7.

I know this isn't an on and off switch kind of thing. And I'm not saying you need to follow my timeline either.

Find the pace that works for you. Set goals for yourself if you need to. For example: InshaAllah This week I will do step 1, next week I will start step 2, next month I will start step 3... etc.

Make sure that your end goal is to wear complete and proper hijab inshaAllah. Focus on that and know that any step from here until then is a stepping stone on the road to modesty. The journey isn't over until you make it to the end.

And through it all, make LOTS AND LOTS of du'a. Allah wants you to do what he commanded, and He is on your side subhanAllah. Sincerity is the key :-) Be sincere in your efforts and be honest with yourself about your intentions.

Please sisters, let me know if you need someone to talk to about this or anything else. Feel free to email me at findingguidance (at) hotmail (dot) com or add me on facebook under the same email.

Allah make it easy for you, ameeeeeeen!!!!!

much love.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

How to Hijab: Step 7/7



So we've made it to step 7. This step is the step where I went from skirts and maxi dresses to abaya.

Step 8

Step 8 by chastain featuring a maxi dress

This was a personal choice for me, but one that I definitely advocate.

One piece outerwear is really convenient and cuts down on layers (which keeps you a lot cooler once it starts warming up).

Also it is MUCH MUCH easier to find modest cuts when you are looking at abayas/jilbabs.

However, if you want to still buy clothes from a regular store, you can occasionally find long sleeve maxi dresses. Just buy them up a few sizes so that they are loose enough to conceal your stuff.

Another benefit is the ease of getting dressed every morning. You spend less time on vanity (making your outfit look nice so other people will notice/comment on your cuteness). I'm not saying that you should look frumpy or anything. You should still wear nice clean clothes in good repair that match. However, you shouldn't be spending an hour or two every morning picking shoes then matching your shoes to your top and your jacket and your skirt and your hijab and your hijab pins and and and...

This is a waste of your time, and ultimately a means of vanity; a way of getting attention. It is counter productive if we cover up our adornment with MORE ADORNMENT!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

How to Hijab: Step 6/7



Step 6 is getting that hair covered! I know most people think this is the most important step of hijab, but really all of the other stuff is much more important! Imagine throwing a scarf on your head while still wearing a t-shirt and jeans... makes no sense right? The loose clothes are much more important.

NOW WE FINALLY HAVE HIJAB!! We are wearing loose and concealing clothes, our hair/chests are covered, and you can't tell our body shape.

When donning your scarf, look for options that COVER YOUR CHEST!!

I know you will be temped to try out that new Turkish style, but girl that doesn't fulfill Qur'anic requirements!

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their zeenah (charms, or beauty and ornaments) except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their khimar (veils) over their bosoms and not display their zeenah except to their husbands, their fathers .... and that they should not strike their feet so as to draw attention to their hidden zeenah (ornaments). (24:31-32)

Did you read that? Clear as day it says COVER UP THOSE BOSOMS with your veils!

So do it.

Friday, November 19, 2010

How to Hijab: Step 5/7



Step 5 is making sure that you are wearing two layers.

Step 6

Step 6 by chastain featuring a tank dress

Why you ask? Let me tell you...

O Prophet! Tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should draw over themselves their jilbab (outer garments) (when in public); this will be more conducive to their being recognized (as decent women) and not harassed. But God is indeed oft-forgiving, most merciful. (33:59)

And know that women advanced in years, who no longer feel any sexual desire incur no sin if they discard their thiyab (outer garments), provided they do not aim at a showy display of their zeenah (charms or beauty). But it is better for them to abstain (from this); and God is all-hearing, all-knowing. (24:60)

We should draw our Jilbab (outer garments) around us. This means there should be something INSIDE our outside clothes.

If a woman is allowed to take off her thiyab (outer garments) when she is advanced in years, is she now allowed to walk around naked or in her underwear? No. Now she is allowed to wear the clothes she had on inside. This means that the clothes she wears inside her outer garments should also be modest enough to not display your charms or beauty, but still somewhat different than the recognized outer garment.

My rule of thumb: my inside clothes should be modest enough that I could take off my jilbab (outside layer) and still be able to be around other women. This means no inordinate amount of chest showing (because thats icky) and you should be covered from your belly button down to below your knees (this is awrah for women around other women, just like it is awrah for men).

Thursday, November 18, 2010

How to Hijab: Step 4/7



Step 4 is switching out jeans and slim pants for skirts and maxi dresses. I know some people consider pants to be proper hijab, but I don't/they aren't. I will be explaining why in the next post so stay tuned.
Now we're getting pretty modest right! Now, apart from our hair/neck no part of our body shape is apparent or on display, alhamdulillah. We are getting there!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

How to Hijab: Step 3/7



Step 3 is adding a scarf around your neck. It keeps you cozy if it's cold and more importantly it keeps your chest covered! THIS IS STILL NOT HIAJB, but inshaAllah a step in the right direction.

Alhamdulillah this is in fashion now so no complaining!

If you're already carrying/wearing a scarf every day, it won't feel weird to eventually pop it up over your head. Plus you get the added modesty of covering up the "twins" as Stacy and Clinton say. :-)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How to Hijab: Some Clarification



Because there has been a little confusion I decided to clarify a bit for you all.

The posts I have done so far represent positive change toward a more modest wardrobe. They DO NOT fulfill the Islamic requirements of hijab. I will cover this in more detail in later posts.

I will not be showing an outfit that is proper hijab until about post 6 or 7.

These early posts are about making positive changes instead of being stagnant and *wishing* you could wear hijab. It is about being proactive.

It is also a chronicle of what worked for me. This is how I actually went through the process but something different may work better for you.

In any event, slapping a scarf on Step 2 is not proper hijab, and I don't want to represent it as such.

I think inshaAllah I will go back on put disclaimers on the other posts as well.

much love.

How to Hijab: Step 2/7



Step Two: Loosen and Lengthen!


Switch out short t-shirts for long ones, tunics, or dresses that cover your tush and thighs.

A good self-check for this one: If you bend over to pick something up from the floor, can someone behind you see your rear? They shouldn't be able to...

Nobody wants to see that girl...

Cheap places to find this stuff? Thrift stores. You can find tunic things there and also XXL t-shirts. If you are kind of short you can take an XXL t-shirt and sew in the sides to make a cool and cheap tunic inshaAllah.

Monday, November 15, 2010

How to Hijab: Step 1/7





The first thing to do is to get yourself use to wearing something that covers all of your body. It is an adjustment for the way your body cools and heats itself so it is good to get this step going while it is still cool/cold outside! This way you don't feel overheated when you first start covering all parts of yourself.

Also at this point, you can start wearing looser t-shirts and cardigans (instead of just sleeves under a t-shirt).
Best place for cheap, loose t-shirts? Brother/Uncle/Dad's closet! I'm telling you, your dad probably has some really sweet t-shirts from the 70s/80s. Go look for 'em!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

How to Hijab: Introduction



So I decided to go ahead and do it since I had some time to put it together.

This is a pictorial guide to how I transitioned from jeans and t-shirts to full on hijab/jilbab/abaya wearing awesomeness :-P

Alhamdulillah it was quite the process and I will walk you through it inshaAllah!


This is where I started. Jeans, t-shirts, hoodies with pushed up sleeves. Typical college wardrobe, really.

This is how I still dress in private. I still have my massive t-shirt collection, lol. I don't wear jeans as much as I use to, but they are still a staple in my wardrobe.

When I'm with the ladies, I try be a little bit more put together now. Like maybe I will wear a real blouse and a cardigan or something. Since I'm 23 now and everything... lol. I also usually wont wear tight or revealing clothes around other women.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

How To Hijab

Salam sisters,


I was thinking of doing a series of posts about how I went from tshirts and jeans to abaya.

I know most people can't switch cold turkey, and I certainly didn't either, so inshaAllah a how to will be helpful.

Plus it's fall (for us in the Northern Hemisphere) which is the PERFECT time to start covering.

let me know what you think inshaAllah!

much love.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Note to Self

Don't forget:

"I'm not ready for that" = "I don't trust Allah enough to do that"

Friday, October 29, 2010

Love, another one by Me


Love is a test from Allah, like every thing in this life.

Bliss for some.

Misery for others.

But always an opportunity to do the right thing.

Allah grant you all fulfilling and halal love ameen

Thursday, October 28, 2010

My Hijab Says, by Me

My Hiab Says:

Dear Allah,

I heard you.

I believe you.

I trust you.

Out of love and wisdom you gave me free will and out of love and awe I give it back to you.

Dear Future Husband,

I kept myself for you: you can trust me with your heart and your home and your family.

I know where my priorities are, and you were one of them before I even met you.

Dear Sisters in Humanity,

I respect you as a fellow creation of our Mighty God. I respect your feelings and the stability of your home.

I will not be the cause of your unhappiness, I will not be the downfall of the men you love, I will not betray you.

Dear Brothers in Humanity,

Peace and the Guidance of Allah be on you but, BACK OFF!!!

Dear Self,

We came a long way, but alhamdulillah the steps were worth it. We have respect for ourselves and for others. We think about the consequences of our actions. We are conscious of ourselves and our place in the larger universe.


Allah forgive us all for our shortcomings, give us guidance and protect us from the fire ameeen.

Monday, September 20, 2010

99 Names Part X



I realized I never finished posting up the 99 names astaghfirullah so here we go with the last 9!

The Distressor, The Harmer, The Afflictor

The Propitious, The Benefactor, The Source of Good

The Light

The Guide, The Way

The Incomparable, The Unattainable

The Immutable, The Infinite, The Everlasting

The Heir, The Inheritor of All

The Guide to the Right Path

The Timeless, The Patient

Sunday, August 29, 2010

So Behind



So an update: I got a job alhamdulillah but now I'm super duper busy. I'm currently doing the job of about 4 people (as in the University could have legitimately hired 4 different people to do the stuff I do there, but decided not to).

I'm only getting a couple of hours of sleep a night, but I'm hoping that things will even out once we get into the swing of school again.

Anyway, InshaAllah I will be resuming posts again once things cool off a bit.

As for my goals, as you can probably tell I am horribly behind astaghfirullah, but I'm hoping to put in a lot of real effort for the last 10 days/nights inshaAllah.

Keep me in your du'as!

much love.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

99 Names Part IX



81المنتقمAl-MuntaqimThe Avenger
82العفوAl-AfuwwThe Pardoner, The Effacer
83الرؤوفAr-Ra'ūfThe Kind, The Pitying
84مالك الملكMālik-ul-MulkThe Owner of all Sovereignty
85ذو الجلال والإكرامDhū-l-Jalāli
The Lord of Majesty and Generosity
86المقسطAl-MuqsiţThe Equitable, The Requiter
87الجامعAl-JāmiThe Gatherer, The Unifier
88الغنيAl-GhaniyyThe Rich, The Independent
89المغنيAl-MughniThe Enricher, The Emancipator
90المانعAl-Māni'The Withholder, The Shielder, the Defender

99 Names Part VIII



70المقتدرAl-MuqtadirThe Determiner, The Dominant
71المقدمAl-MuqaddimThe Expediter, He Who Brings Forward
72المؤخرAl-Mu'akhkhirThe Delayer, He Who Puts Far Away
73الأولAl-'AwwalThe First (Alpha)
74الأخرAl-'AkhirThe Last (Omega)
75الظاهرAdh-DhāhirThe Manifest, The Evident, The Outer
76الباطنAl-BātinThe Hidden, The Unmanifest, The Inner
77الواليAl-WāliThe Patron
78المتعاليAl-Mutā'aliThe Exalted
79البرAl-BarrThe Good
80التوابAt-TawwābThe Ever Returning, Ever Relenting

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Week 2



So summary of week one achievements: Alhamdulillah I made it through pretty much all of my weekly goals except for keeping my 1 new sunnah which was miswak. I never really got the hang of using it... but inshaAllah I will keep trying through Ramadhan! Also I jumped ahead a little by learning Al-Kafirun in English and in Arabic in the same week instead of splitting it.

Here is installment #2!!!

1. Du'a (بالعربية and English): Ayat Al-Kursi

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

Allah! There is no deity except He, the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists. Neither slumber, nor sleep overtake Him. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on earth. Who is he that can intercede with Him except with His Permission? He knows what happens to them (His creatures) in this world, and what will happen to them in the Hereafter . And they will never compass anything of His Knowledge except that which He wills. His throne extends over the heavens and the earth, and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving them. And He is the Most High, the Most Great.

[This Verse 2:255 is called Ayat-ul-Kursî.]

2. Hadith (بالعربية):

عن ابي رقية تميم بن أوس الداري راضي الله عنه أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال:

"الدين النصيحة. قلنا: لمن؟ قال: لله ولكتاب ولرسوله ولائمة المسلمين وعامتهم". رواه مسلم.

3. Sunnnah: to sit with right knee up when on the floor, especially when eating.

4. Surah (in English): Al-Falaq

1 Say, `I seek refuge in the Lord of the day break,
2 `From the evil of that which He has created,
3 `And from the evil (that usually prevails in the times) of darkness when it overspreads (at night),
4 `And from the evil of those who blow on knots,
5 `And from the evil of the envier when he envies.'

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

99 Names Part VI and VII and NEWS



I'm so sorry that I missed yesterday's post! I was totally distracted :-P

Yesterday alhamdulillah! after searching all summer I finally, by the grace of Allah, got a job on campus in an office/ teaching.

ALSO! A few hours later I found out that my sister in law is PREGNANT! mashaAllah!!!! please please say mashaAllah you guys. This inshaAllah will be my brother's first child and my sister in law's second. May Allah guide them ameen.

So on to the post!

51. الحق Al-Haqq: The Truth, The Real

52. الوكيل Al-Wakīl: The Trustee, The Dependable

53. القوى Al-Qawwiyy: The Strong

54. المتين Al-Matīn: The Firm, The Steadfast

55. الولى Al-Waliyy: The Friend, Patron and Helper

56. الحميد Al-Hamīd: The All Praiseworthy

57. المحصى Al-Muhsi: The Accounter, The Numberer of All

58. المبدئ Al-Mubdi': The Originator, The Producer, The Initiator

59. المعيد Al-Mu'īd: The Restorer, The Reinstater Who Brings Back All

60. المحيى Al-Muhyi: The Giver of Life

61. المميت Al-Mumīt: The Destroyer, The Bringer of Death

62. الحي Al-Hayy: The Living

63. القيوم Al-Qayyūm: The Subsisting

64. الواجد Al-Wājid: The Perceiver, The Finder, The Unfailing

65. الماجد Al-Mājid: The Illustrious, The Magnificent

66. الواحد Al-Wāhid: The One, The Unique

67. الاحد Al-'Ahad: The Unity, The Indivisible

68. الصمد As-Samad: The Eternal, The Absolute, The Self-Sufficient

69. القادر Al-Qādir: The Omnipotent, The All Able

70. المقتدر Al-Muqtadir: The Determiner, The Dominant

Sunday, August 15, 2010

99 Names Part V



41. الجليل Al-Jalīl: The Majestic

42. الكريم Al-Karīm: The Bountiful, The Generous

43. الرقيب Ar-Raqīb: The Watchful

44. المجيب Al-Mujīb: The Responsive, The Answer

45. الواسع Al-Wāsi': The Vast, The All-Embracing, The Omnipresent, The Boundless

46. الحكيم Al-Hakīm: The Wise

47. الودود Al-Wadūd: The Loving

48. المجيد Al-Majīd: The Glorious

49. الباعث Al-Bā'ith: The Resurrecter

50. الشهيد Ash-Shahīd: The Witness

99 Names Part IV



Today I didn't wake up for sahoor... subhanAllah it was like a totally different kind of fasting today than every other time I fasted before!!!

Don't forget sahoor you guys!

31. الخبير Al-Khabīr: The All Aware

32. الحليم Al-Halīm: The Forbearing, The Indulgent

33. العظيم Al-'Azīm: The Magnificent

34. الغفور Al-Ghafūr: The All Forgiving

35. الشكور Ash-Shakūr: The Grateful

36. العلي Al-'Aliyy: The Sublime

37. الكبير Al-Kabīr: The Great

38. الحفيظ Al-Hafīz: The Preserver

39. المقيت Al-Muqīt: The Nourisher

40. الحسيب Al-Hasīb: The Bringer of Judgment

Friday, August 13, 2010

99 Names Part III



"The Most Excellent Names belong to Allah: use them to call on Him, and keep away from those who abuse them..."
Al-Qur'an, Al-A3raaf 7:180

21. الباسط Al-Bāsit: The Extender / Expander

22. الخافض Al-Khāfid: The Abaser

23. الرافع Ar-Rāfi': The Exalter

24. المعز Al-Mu'izz: The Giver of Honour

25. المذل Al-Mu'dhell: The Giver of Dishonour

26. السميع As-Samī': The All Hearing

27. البصير Al-Basīr: The All Seeing

28. الحكم Al-Hakam: The Judge, The Arbitrator

29. العدل Al-`Adl: The Utterly Just

30. اللطيف Al-Latīf: The Gentle, The Subtly Kind

Thursday, August 12, 2010

99 Names Part II



So I think I will move the schedule up for the 99 names. Instead of 5, inshaAllah I will do 10 so that we have more time toward the end of the month for other topics :-)

So today I will catch up and do 15 :-D

6. المؤمن Al-Mu'min: The Guarantor, The Affirming

7. المهيمن Al-Muhaymin: The Guardian, The Protector

8. العزيز Al-Aziz: The Almighty, The Sufficient, The Honorable

9. الجبار Al-Jabbar: The Irresistible, The Compeller, The Lofty

10. المتكبر Al-Mutakabbir: The Highest, The Greatest

11. الخالق Al-Khāliq: The Creator

12. البارئ Al-Bāri': The Rightful

13. المصور Al-Musawwir: The Evolver, The Fashioner of Forms

14. الغفار Al-Ghaffār: The Forgiving

15. القهار Al-Qahhār: The Subduer

16. الوهاب Al-Wahhāb: The Bestower

17. الرزاق Ar-Razzāq: The Provider

18. الفتاح Al-Fattāh: The Opener, The Victory Giver

19. العليم Al-'Alīm: The All Knowing, The Omniscient

20. القابض Al-Qābid: The Restrainer, The Straightener

Try to incorporate these beautiful names into your du'as!!
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