Monday, March 7, 2011

Ready to Go



So I haven't been here in forever, please forgive me.

Today I want to talk about leaving.

I am soooooo ready to leave this country. I seriously just want to pack a bag and go somewhere else.

There is a mythical place in my head where wearing 'abaya isn't unusual, being Muslim isn't anathema and being born in America isn't a stigma.


\ DEM-uh-gog \ , noun;
A leader who obtains power by means of impassioned
appeals to the emotions and prejudices of the

I see my home country being over run by demagogues. I see it creeping slowly into my family. I see the distrustful looks that my aunts and uncles and cousins give me.

I find comfort in the women around me who know what it feels like, and I thank Allah for them because they keep me sane. I'm not sure if they really know just how much.

I am saddened by the thought that the people who accept me and make me feel at home are usually not my family members. That my family members who have known me since birth have suddenly found inside me their enemy.

I am ready to go.

And yet I realize that no matter where I go, I will always be different. In my hometown I will always be Muslim, always be that covered woman. If I go somewhere else I will always be that convert, always be that American woman.

I realize that no matter what, I will always face some prejudice in this life.

i AM different, alhamdulillah
i AM muslim, alhamdulillah
i AM white, alhamdulillah
i AM covered, alhamdulillah
i AM american, alhamdulillah

These are things I cannot change, things I will not change inshaAllah.

Even if I get a new home and new citizenship, I will always be "that American sister." And maybe that's okay.

And so I put it in Allah subhana wa ta'ala's hands. He is the Most Generous, He is the Most Merciful, He is the Best of Providers.

I ask Allah to help us all with our issues of disenfranchisement. To make us content with the provision he has given us and to help us find peace in this life and the next, ameeeeeen.

wa alhamdulillah 3la kul 7al
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