Clothes

Salam!

Bismillah


Okay, I wanted to ask you guys... how do you feel when people dress differently at the masjid or in prayer than they do outside?
I'm not sure if this topic is inappropriate, but it's something I have noticed and wanted to talk about. If you think it is inappropriate or anything, just let me know.

Classificiations by Outifts:
1. Dressing always the same (outside, in the masjid, in prayer)
2. Dressing in a way outside that you would never dress when coming to the masjid, but praying the same way they come to the masjid (like wearing pants in outside life, but never wearing pants to the masjid or to pray)
3. Dressing any way outside and to the masjid, but covering more or differently in prayer (like wearing hijab/no hijab with pants outside and to the masjid, but slip on a loose skirt when you pray)

Which ones do you guys fall into? What do you think of each category? Is this even something you have ever thought about? :-P Is it important to think about how we dress when we pray versus how we dress in "real" life? What is the motivation of dressing this way for each category?

Okay thanks for humoring me :-D

Requests

Salam!

Bismillah

A sister asked me some questions, and I felt like I needed to make a post of them. the Q's are her words and the A's are mine. The C's stand for "comment" because I didn't really think it qualified as a question, lol.

Let me know if you have specific questions for me that you want me to answer, or if you can think of something you feel like reading about.

Q: sis, u know i had to ask you this question cuz it means so much to me. In the eastern Pakistani/indian culture kids treat their mothers/fathers like they are gods...astaghfirullah! ok...like we are raised up to be extremely leech like on our parents...unlike u converts...who are indepent and thinking adults... which i think is great. how did u deal with giving the emotional blow to ur parents of putting Allah first?
A: Okay so let me clarify first, I've told my mother but not my father or my brother. I haven't actually come to the part yet where I actually have to deliver a "blow." For my mom, alhamdulillah, I knew she would accept my decision and is even pleased that I'm putting God first in my life. My dad, I know will be upset. Believing that Christ is God is more important to him than putting God first in my life. For him (and a lot of Christians that I know) belief is more important than actually walking the walk. InshaAllah when I get to the point where I break the news to my dad and bro, I will let you guys know all about it.

Q: i have to deal with the mental and emotional blow of being the "unthankful and arrogant" child...for someone who grew up with the sole intention of keeping my mom happy....this is really tough...like ur relationship with ur parents...how are u dealing with "displeasing" them?
A: I take solace in the fact that I'm trying to please my creator. I know this can be hard because mothers are right there physically in your face, but be sure that Allah subhana wa ta'ala is the most merciful and has mercy on those who believe in Him. Every hardship that is shouldered with patience and belief in Allah subhana wa ta'ala is rewarded with a blessing in this life or the next, inshaAllah.

C: sis, also...all my life i thought that kids in the west are very disobedient....but now i think i know that independence is a good thing...like people in the subcontinent worships ancestral custom sis...and their parents...not Allah. like now i understand...like kids are not allowed to marry who they want...!rather, who their parents want them to marry...i think it is ridiculous.
C: I agree with this comment for sure. Even our Prophet, salAllahu alleyhi wa salam, didn't condone forcing women to marry outside of their choice if they said no, so what right can they claim on us?

Q: i think sis the way u r dealing with ur parents is amazing. like u r trusting Allah...and working and striving..and u know it is a test...and everything will be better...a lot... better..it is the way you are because of which ur parents cant like make u cower into not being muslim...like what specifically do u keep in mind...when giving Allah prefernce to ur parents???i mean like...how do u manage?
A: First of all, thank you, and alhamdulillah anything I have comes from Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Most of the time, I remember the part in the Qur'an where it talks about the disbelievers asking how were they supposed to do something different than what their fathers did? Wow this always hits me so hard... it makes my heart speed up so fast when I read this. I keep in mind that no matter what my parents think, or my friends, or my extended family thinks, I will have to stand in front of ALLAH SUBHANA WA TA'ALA alllllll ALONE and be accountable for my actions. Standing in front of him will be MILLIONS of times worse than standing in front of everyone on earth. InshaAllah if I stand in front of everyone on earth, it will be easier when I stand for Allah subhana wa ta'ala.

Q: like sis...u didnt give a damn when ur dad was pissed at u for considering islam.. i mean it is so cool. i mean u didnt care if u were the disobedient daugther.
A: Lol I definitely give a damn if my dad is pissed, but like I said above... I am accountable to ALLAH subhana wa ta'ala, and if my dad wants me to do something different than what Allah subhana wa ta'ala does... who is going to win in the long run? My dad, a man, or Allah, the supreme creator of the world and universe and everything that every did, does, or will exist?

Q: i mean it is as if they are blind or something???!!!?? i mean really like how do i deal with their emotional insanity and this slavery of me??? they act as if they are displeased gods or something???
A: This I'm not sure I can give you daily practical advice on. I would say make du'a that the veil is lifted from their eyes and hearts. Pray sincerely for them, especially when you are fasting, not just for your own sake but for theirs as well. Sometimes no matter how well you speak to them, you can't change them from the outside. Allah has to change their hearts first.

Q:i mean it is amazing. u r allaying ur mother's fears sis. it is like a role reversal. can u see?
i think it is amazing. u must be very string in ur iman, sis. u hope for rewards from Allah? and you hope your situation will soon be better?
A: again thank you and alhamdulillah. I think it is funny that you say role reversal, because this has been brought up to me a few times. My parents aren't old, but I often have had to treat them as my children. I cook for them so they don't eat candy all day, I remind them to pay bills, I teach them to cook. I think this is just the way my interaction is with them always. I think that all Muslims hope for reward from Allah sister, else we wouldn't be Muslims. InshaAllah the situation of all of the Muslims in our ummah will be better, ameen.

Salam!

Bismillah

Before I started to wear abaya every day because of the convenience and comfortability, my mother was very concerned that I would never be able to wear anything cute ever again because I wanted to dress "modestly."

I made this polyvore set with my mom to help her understand that there can be fashion and individuality with modesty. We had a great time and I think she felt better afterward too.

:-D

Lumber Jane by chastain featuring Forever21

Daily Style

Salam!

Bismillah

Daily Wear by chastain featuring Havaianas flip flops

So this is my Daily Style, if you will.

Usually you can find me in a jalabiya or maxi dress with sleeves, covered up with an abaya (usually an open front kind) and a bright scarf.

I'm also usually in flat sandals, even when it's snowing.

Last but not least an aquamarine ring that my mom got me that looks vaguely like this one and resembles one that my grandmother wore everyday.

What do YOU wear???

Language Barriers

Salam!

Bismillah

~ I am feeling very very very included in my community, alhamdulillah. Especially the Saudi sisters have taken me under their wing and made me their favorite little convert, lol. I get invited to tea and dinner and lunch and halaqah. Alhamdulillah it is really great!
~ However... Most of the time they are very happy to speak in Arabic always. Now it should be noted that everyone in the room speaks English and is *mostly* fluent, but I am the only one not fluent in Arabic.
~ Alhamdulillah though I'm getting better at reading the context of the discussion and using my very tiny tiny vocabulary to figure out what is going on.
~ Also mashaAllah a couple of the Saudi sisters are determined to make me fluent in Arabic. Total immersion and the like, lol.

Liberty, Freedom!

Salam!

Bismillah

One day a couple weeks ago I was at Wal-Mart. I was in the produce section.

As I was walking by the peaches, I saw a little white haired Old Lady looking at me. She looked very Republican, lol, and as is my usual course of action, I gave her a big 'ol southern smile and went on about my business.

So I rounded the corner to get some parsley. I was either making falafel or burgers... anyway the parsley was necessary. As I'm calmly choosing my leafy greens I hear someone whispering behind me.

I don't really pay any attention because really... who cares what people whisper? Then my friend looks at me and goes... uh... I think she's talking to you. I was like what? Who? Huh?

I look over and who do I see but Old Lady, camped out next to the squash section, whispering (lol) "liberty... freedom... liberty... freedom..." gazing intently at my abaya and hijab covered self.

?!?!?

Don't you think that harassing me in the produce section of my local grocery store is a violation of my freedom and liberty?!?

Ugh... it seems they want us to be "liberated"... but only as long as it's THEIR kind of freedom.

Eck

Salam!

Bismillah

I am at a loss for things to say. I don't want to just write stuff so that I have posts up, but I don't want you to be bored either...

What do you guys like to hear about?

Ramadhan Objectives Revisited

Salam!

Bismillah

Hey sisters. I've been kind of dreading this post a little bit, because honestly I didn't do as well as I had hoped. Of course I will continue to work on each of these goals throughout the year inshaAllah. I know you all know how excited I was for my first Ramadhan and alhamdulillah it was excellent, but it seems everything started at the same time and I was so swamped... hence no posts.

Anyway here is my goal evaluation post Ramadhan

1. complete all 5 fard prayers PROMPTLY on time
Occasionally I would be a little late, and I slept through fajr once or twice, astaghfirullah. I think this is something we all struggle a little with.
2. pray/incorporate sunnah prayers into my day
I did this as much as time would allow. I tried to do at least one of the sunnah prayers every day.
3. give at least $1 to charity per day
I gave to my masjid, but unfortunately I didn't have enough money to give every day. I tried instead to give my time by volunteering.
4. spend at least one Saturday working at our local soup kitchen
The management of our local soup kitchen has changed and I can't figure out who to contact for this, so I did not achieve this goal.
5. memorize one of the longer surahs
Definitely did not complete this goal. Memorization in a foreign language is way harder than I anticipated it to be, but inshaAllah I will keep trying for this goal!
6. help provide food for iftar at our masjid at least twice (mashaAllah our masjid does iftar every day during Ramadhan!)
I did one iftar and one sahoor after tahajjud and also made food for the Eid morning. Our masjid also had tahajjud prayers every morning the last 10 days.
7. try to cultivate real friendships with women who will help me grown in my deen (thanks to all of you bloggers out there who already help me with this!!!!!!)
AWW YAY I DID THIS ONE!! :-D I made a lot of friends this Ramadhan alhamdulillah!
8. avoid gossip and television
Tried to do both as much as possible, and I watched a significantly less amount of TV than usual. I never turned it on, but would occasionally be in a room with it going.
9. attend Arabic class every day with the intention of learning so that I might read and understand the Qur'an in order to worship Allah better (I will be taking Arabic 1 at university in the fall, inshahAllah)
This was just a question of intention, and I tried to make this my intention before I even stepped into the class the first time. This is always in my mind when I am leaning Arabic.
10. not eat too much at iftar, try to be moderate
I limited myself to one medium sized plate per night, I was only really full once, and I never felt hungry after
11. get in the habit of saying "bismillah" with the intention that everything I do will be in the sight/will of Allah
I did this a little bit, but could do better.
12. attend as many tarawih prayers as possible at the masjid
I only missed a few days while I was sick
13. try to give dawah
A girl I met converted to Islam, alhamdulillah!!! Also 5 Christian girls came to the masjid to learn more about Islam, I think so they can become missionaries, but they were very respectful. I talked to them a lot. The women at our masjid know that I am very familiar with Christianity, so they usually like for me to talk to these people.
14. try to incorporate niqab: I admire the modesty and believe it is better for our hearts. If I believe it is better, why do I not do it? (Please let me know what you think of this one sisters, because I'm not 100% yet!)
I did wear the niqab a few times when I went to the store. It was okay really, and I think that I like it a lot, but my mom has become more and more and more anti niqab as I become more interested in it. Now she is moving toward not liking my abayat as well, so I am trying not to push it because she is the only one in my family on my side.
15. keep my home and myself as clean as possible
I stayed pretty clean, and my room didn't do so bad either :-)

How did you all do on your Ramadhan Goals????

Hi *blush*

Salam!

Bismillah

so... wow... hi everyone!

i missed you...

I have been so busy you guys. School started, then Ramadhan, one of my besties got the swine flue *eck* and said bestie is international so they have no family here, so I took care of them *double eck* I felt so bad...

Anyway, the moral of the story is I'm back now, inshaAllah.

So a quick update.
I'll call this section

Ramadan Recap

1. Ramadan went well, alhamulillah! I reached some goals and didn't reach others. InshaAllah this will be another post soon.
2. I made TONS of new girlfriends, YAY!!!! and spent so much time at the masjid, alhamdulillah. I've never had girlfriends before and it's just been a total blast.
3. I'm learning Arabic. I take an hour to hour and a half of Arabic class every day (that is 6 hours per week), and I'm starting to be able to read some Qur'an now *mashaAllah*
4. I got two sort of weird unofficial marriage offers, lol. more on this later as well.
5. My dad and brother still don't know that I've converted even though they know that I wear hijab and abaya... I think they just pretend to not know...
6. There is a baby at my masjid and his name is Noor. Okay there are a lot of babies, but this baby is just the bees knees, mashaAllah! He is Yemeni and he is between 9 months and a year. I want to take him and keep him forever, lol. I think my hormones are playing with me.