Nostalgia

Salam!

Bismillah

I think I miss Christmas. Not the religious celebration, but the idea around "Christmas Time."

Ya'll know what I mean right...

In the United States, Christmas is not really about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, it is about celebrating. It is a holiday that even atheists participate in because it is not socially considered to be a "religious" holiday anymore.

I miss being excited and seeing everyone else be excited. I miss eating gingerbread cookies and stringing up lights and watching old clay-mation movies on tv with my dad.

I miss the anticipation and feeling like a little kid. I miss the generous spirit that some people develop during this time.

There are so many things that are wrong with the celebration of Christmas, but it is difficult to let go of the things that feel right.

InshaAllah if I am blessed with children one day, I would love for them to feel about 3id the way that I felt about Christmas as a kid. I want there to be a sense of wonder and nostalgia; of excitement and generosity. I want to have family traditions that my children can look back on and smile about.

InshaAllah it's time to start planning.

Talk Like an Arkansan #2

Salam!

Bismillah

Some more common words and phrases!!!

crick: creek, small stream or river   "I'm gonna go swimmin' in the crick."

ornery: stubborn, bad tempered   "That bull is ornery."

As (adjective) as a (noun with that characteristic) : a phrase used for emphasis, usually humerous   "That blanket is soft as a baby's butt."

... as all get out: to the maximum amount   "He's as mad as all get out."

if'n: if, in case  "If'n you ain't gonna eat that, can I have it?"

air up: inflate   "Don't forget to air up your tires."

hunkey dorey: great, perfect  "Everything is hunkey dorey!"

cross purposes: two opposing objectives "They's workin' at cross purposes."

womper-jawed/ off kilter: akew, off center  "Fix your dress woman, its all womper-jawed."

darn tootin': for sure, clearly "You're darn tootin'!"

fit to be tied: mad, angry "That big bull was fit to be tied when you jumped in his pen."

pop a squat: sit down  "Come on over and pop a squat, you look bushed."

      bushed: tired, exhausted

hankering/hankerin': a strong desire, craving  "I got a hankerin' for waffle house."

      waffle house: a 24 hour restaurant, serving diner food and breakfast allll daaayyy looooong!!!

heap: plenty, a plethora  "Boy's got a heap a money." (heap of pronounced "heap a")

hear tell: heard a rumor  "I hear tell that girl ran oft and got married."

like to/ liked to have: almost, was about to  "I like to screamed my head off when I saw that those 'coon eyes by the trash can."

      'coon: raccoon, they have reflective eyes in a flashlight beam

goose egg: zero, bruise or bump especially on the head  "Poor Casey got a goose egg on his head last weekend." 

prolly/ probaly: probably  "We should prolly be gettin' in the house right about now 'fore the skeeters come out."

      

      'fore: before

      skeeter: mosquito

purdy: pretty  "Ain't that a purdy little girl!"

fair to midlin': alright, fine, good  "Oh, I'm fair to midlin' thanks."

ruther/ druther: rather "I'd ruther/ I druther go to Stoby's."

druthers: preferences   "If I had my druthers, we'd be at waffle house."

      Stoby's: restaurant in Russleville and Conway, famous for cheese dip and chips

sho nuff: sure enough, that's right, for sure  "That boy's got a hot head. Sho nuff."

      got a hot head: impatient, quick to anger

tump over: to knock over, turn over  "I done tumped over my milk momma."

'et up: eaten up, bitten  "If you go out with all those skeeters, you're gonna get 'et up!" 

bless your pea-pickin' little heart: aww, poor you, a way of offering condolences "Well bless your pea-pickin' little heart. I'm so sorry to hear that..."

in the offing/ in the offin': in the future, coming up in the near future   "I got a surprise for you in the offin'" 

I know this one is a bit long, but I got excited!! LOL, let me know what you think!!!!

Talk Like an Arkansan

Salam!

Bismillah

Hidey! (In Arkansas, we say hidey instead of howdy like in the west. This is not as common among young people.)

I thought today I would give you a small lesson on speaking like an Arkansan (ar-KAN-zan): that is, someone from Arkansas (AR-ken-saw).

The dialect of Arkansas is considered part of a grouping of "Southern" dialects, but is quite different than those found in the deep south. Sometimes it is referred to as the "Ozark" dialect. While it has differences from other southern accents, most Northern, Eastern, and Western Americans will identify the Ozark speaker as Southern.

Accents are quite varied even across Arkansas itself, with an especially marked difference between urban and rural speakers and also older generations vs. younger.

Most southern dialects are characterized by dropping "r" sounds which aren't followed by vowels. For example in the deep south you will hear people pronounce the word southern (SUH-thun) or Georgia (Jo-juh).

An Ozark speaker however will often heavily accent the "r" sound. For instance someone from Arkansas would pronounce southern (SUH-thern or suhth-ren). Any "er" sound will be quite pronounced. Sometimes they even add "r" sounds where there aren't any, for example (warsh) instead of  "wash."

Along with most southerners, the Ozark speaker will tend to make contractions of words.

• y'all: you + all "Are y'all comin' to dinner?"
• yunt: you + want "Yunt to go fishin'?"
• wachu: what + you "Wachu eatin'?"
• gonna: going + to "You gonna go to the fair?"
• ain't: are/am + not "I ain't gonna hurt you." 
• innit: isn't + it "It's a nice day outside, innit?"

Also similar to most southerners, Arkansans drop the "-ing" sound and prefer "-in" when using gerunds as in the examples above.

Sometimes the Ozark speaker may change vowel sounds. For example to is common to hear (ya/yuh), (ta/tuh) and (thar)  instead of "you" "to" and "there." 

Some other common words for Ozark speakers may include:

• yonder: there, a distance away "The barn is over yonder."
• any more: from now on "I'm not gonna do that any more." This is used differently from how mid-westerners use this phrase. We use it to mean a cessation of activity from this point forward where mid-westerns use it to mean  something like "presently" for example "Any more, I like to drink coke."
• fixin' ta/ fixing to: about to, getting ready to "I'm fixin' ta go to town."
• do what?: what did you say? could you repeat that?

Here are some videos which show the variety of accents in Arkansas. Most will read some words and answer questions, but when they are saying random things outside of the questions is when you can really get a feel for their accent.

It's a little bit of a stereotype, but the Beverly Hillbillies speak the Ozark Dialect! They don't sound much different from the people who live in the hills of North Arkansas. The funny phrases are not made up, real people do actually talk that way. If you notice in the first episode they mention going to Eureka Springs to see the "moving picture." That is in Northwest Arkansas ;-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBmYkXVteaU

Northwest Arkansas, the most neutral Arkansas accent. A little more mid-western, less Ozark/Southern. This is where I live :-P:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kie8gnVVN4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMBT_74Yg3o&feature=related

Southern Arkansas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ni7GKfOIXY&feature=related

These girls sound like Central Arkansas (where I grew up):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=940FEq6Bbn8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1sC08hvgzc

From South Missouri, but her accent is very similar to North Arkansas (same Region) similar to accent in some parts of Tennessee/Appalachians, however older generations tend to have this accent but more exaggerated:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALvqFJaXmkw&feature=related

Rural Arkansas (the guy with the horse) some of the people are laughing at his accent, but notice he doesn't care because Arkansans are a proud people:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCdoV4n0frw

West Arkansas (to me is very similar to Central Arkansas):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGxULykSR8o

Ready to Go

Salam

Bismillah

So I haven't been here in forever, please forgive me.

Today I want to talk about leaving.

I am soooooo ready to leave this country. I seriously just want to pack a bag and go somewhere else.

There is a mythical place in my head where wearing 'abaya isn't unusual, being Muslim isn't anathema and being born in America isn't a stigma.

demagogue

\ DEM-uh-gog \ , noun;

1.

A leader who obtains power by means of impassioned

appeals to the emotions and prejudices of the

populace.

I see my home country being over run by demagogues. I see it creeping slowly into my family. I see the distrustful looks that my aunts and uncles and cousins give me.

I find comfort in the women around me who know what it feels like, and I thank Allah for them because they keep me sane. I'm not sure if they really know just how much.

I am saddened by the thought that the people who accept me and make me feel at home are usually not my family members. That my family members who have known me since birth have suddenly found inside me their enemy.

I am ready to go.

And yet I realize that no matter where I go, I will always be different. In my hometown I will always be Muslim, always be that covered woman. If I go somewhere else I will always be that convert, always be that American woman.

I realize that no matter what, I will always face some prejudice in this life.

i AM different, alhamdulillah

i AM muslim, alhamdulillah

i AM white, alhamdulillah

i AM covered, alhamdulillah

i AM american, alhamdulillah

These are things I cannot change, things I will not change inshaAllah.

Even if I get a new home and new citizenship, I will always be "that American sister." And maybe that's okay.

And so I put it in Allah subhana wa ta'ala's hands. He is the Most Generous, He is the Most Merciful, He is the Best of Providers.

I ask Allah to help us all with our issues of disenfranchisement. To make us content with the provision he has given us and to help us find peace in this life and the next, ameeeeeen.

wa alhamdulillah 3la kul 7al

Homosexuality

Salam!

Bismillah

So a sister posted an article about homosexuality in Islam HERE. She asked us to tell her what we thought about it.

I started to compile my thoughts and it started to get pretty loonnnggg lol. So I thought I would write a post here and share the link inshaAllah.

So, in my opinion this issue breaks down into two separate ideas:
I. How I would treat gay people as a believing Muslim
II. What Islam and the Qur'an actually say about homosexuality

I. How would I treat gay people
Simply: with tolerance. Would I condemn someone who is struggling not to sin, maybe winning sometimes and losing others? Absolutely not. I have been and am in the position where I struggle daily with a certain sin(s). Would I condemn a brother who drinks but is trying desperately to stop for the sake of Allah? No. This is jihad and is something commendable!
Allah gives tests to EVERYONE. Whether you see them as good or bad, easy or hard: It makes no difference. Allah knows better than we do. He clearly told us what to do in the Qur'an subhanAllah.

However, if I see someone who tries to warp the teachings of the Qur'an to suit their viewpoint, I will not support this. It is wrong to say that something that is haraam is halal in any way, even makruh (disliked). If it is forbidden, then it is forbidden. It is our job as brothers and sisters in Islam to give gentle naseeha (advice) to help correct this, but we should not do it in a way to make others turn from Islam.

So to me, I see two categories of gay people:
a. those who realize that these actions are a sin and struggle in the way of Allah to control these actions
b. those who try to say that being homosexual is not a sin, just another way to love. This is shaytan wispering you guys. He's waswas-ing all over the place! The Qur'an is clear on this, there is no ambiguity! (as I will show in the next part) To say it is not that bad when Allah says it is crossing the line is WRONG!

II. What the Qur'an says about homosexuality:
I believe that if we are going to talk about Islam and homosexuality we should throw out some daleel (evidence). Saying things like "I don't think Allah would do this" or "I don't think it is fair for Allah to do this" is not daleel. Allah and HIS WISDOM is above what we "feel" or "think" because we do not have the knowledge. HE does, subhanAllah Alhamdulillah.

26:165-166, 168-169
"Must you, unlike other people, lust after males and abandon the wives that God has created for you? You are exceeding all bounds... So he (Lot) said, 'I loathe what you do: Lord, save me and my family from what they are doing."

In this passage, lust for men and abandoning women as mates are the only charges brought against Lot's people, and these alone are enough to cross Allah's line. Allah created man and woman for each other and He knows best why.

11:78
"His (Lot's) people came rushing towards him, the used to commit foul deeds. He said, 'My people, here are my daughters. They are more wholesome for you, so have some fear of God and do not disgrace me with my guests. Is there not a single right-minded man among you?'

When the men of the town came to take the messengers, Lot offered them his daughters (or the daughters of his people). IF rape was the main objectionable crime (as some claim), he would not offer his daughters to such a fate! Would your father offer you up to be raped? Then how can you claim that Lot, a prophet of Allah 3layhi salam, would do that?!? Rather, he was asking the men of his town to turn away from other MEN and instead have conjugal relations with the WOMEN of the tribe, which is more wholesome.

Again, for those that claim that RAPE was the issue with Lot's people and not homosexuality, note that there was not ONE SINGLE right minded man in the town. This was not an issue of rape, but rather an issue of ALL of the men lusting after each other. As they say, "you can't rape the willing."

27:55
"How can you lust after men instead of women? What fools you are!"

Here the objection is not over "lust" vs "love" as some claim, but lusting for MEN vs. lusting for WOMEN. This is a contrast between what is crossing the line and what is acceptable.

4:16-18
"If two men commit a lewd act, punish them both; but if they repent and mend their ways, leave them alone-God is always ready to accept repentance, He is full of mercy. But God only undertakes to accept the repentance from those who do evil out of ignorance and soon afterwards repent: these are the ones God will forgive, He is all knowing, all wise. It is not true repentance when people continue to do evil until death confronts them and then says, 'Now I repent'..."

I don't think it is coincidence that these verses appear together, and this is the verse that gave me the idea of the two kinds of homosexuals. One is the repentant person who realizes it is wrong and struggles to control themselves. The other is the repeat offender who is not actually repentant.

Allah says punish those that don't repent and repentance means
a. realizing that what you did is wrong
b. asking Allah for sincere forgiveness
c. not repeating the action

Those that try to say that homosexuality is not really "that" haraam are not fulfilling the requirements of repentance.
If you are living in sin and indulging in the same sin repeatedly, then you are, as defined by the Qur'an, not truly repentant.

Now that said: am I the judge of these people? Nope. This is just my personal view on the Qur'an from my own personal study. I am not a scholar and this is not a reproduction of someone else's research, and Allah knows better. However, I do not believe there is any ambiguity. Allah forgives and punishes where he will, so "wait if you wish, I too am waiting (52:31)" and Allah will be the best of judges.

Las Tapadas Limenas

Salam!

Bismillah

I saw an article about tapadas limenas and I was so excited! Tapadas Limenas (there should be a tilde over the n but I don't know how to do that on my keyboard) literally translates to "Covered Women from Lima." Lima is in Peru :-)

Photo Credit

Look, one eye! They follow the sunnah!

So these ladies in Peru covered everything but one eye using a shawl. Why did they do this? For freedom and protection :-D

From the article:

http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=10&categ_id=2&article_id=117479#axzz0vZsmfpuZ

The attire [of clothing] “was clearly intended to serve as a cover, to protect women’s virtue and ward off temptation,” explained Alicia del Aguila, a sociologist who has studied and written about the subject.

Over time, the bourgeoisie and the middle class appropriated the saya and the manto, which became a way for women to hide from unwanted male attention, cover their faces and also conceal their social rank and skin color.

The modest clothes provided “more freedom to those who wore them than ordinary women,” argued del Aguila.

Such an approach is a far cry from the controversy stirred by the veil throughout Europe, where it is seen as a sign of the perceived Muslim oppression of women.

The lower house of Parliament in France, where rundown city suburbs are home to Europe’s biggest Muslim minority, has voted overwhelming to ban full Islamic veils in public spaces, and similar laws are pending in Belgium, Spain and some Italian municipalities.

But in Lima, the tapada loosened the stranglehold on women, giving women a level of greater freedom while protecting their honor.

...

There is no place on Earth were women have more freedom than in Lima,” Franco-Peruvian socialist and feminist Flora Tristan said in 1837 as she enthused about the women who, while covered, were free to stroll in the streets, at amphitheaters and even in Congress.

Thoughts

Salam!

Bismillah

I appreciate diversity............ But I do not appreciate vulgarity

I appreciate progress............ But I do not appreciate loss of morals

I appreciate free thinking..... But I do not appreciate hypocrisy

I appreciate free speech........ But I do not appreciate the government sanctioned hate that spews out of people's mouths and fingers and hearts

I appreciate charity............... But I do not appreciate those who do it for the sake of appearances

I appreciate education.......... But I do not appreciate teaching children warped views of their or other religions, cultures or values

Marriage

Salam!

Bismillah

I'm pretty sure that my parents are counting on my religious conversion as a "phase" of my life, maybe just a "fad" or something.

They treat it as temporary which means a lot of time they don't treat it with respect.

The other day my mom was asking me "How are you going to get married?" "Who are you going to marry?" etc.

I explained to her that inshaAllah Allah will provide from where he wants and I will be patient. I don't have a muslim family looking out for the right husband for me. If my dad and brother were to pick a husband for me, he would be an American Baptist dude.

I explained that I will marry a muslim man. InshaAllah one who fears Allah and will treat me with respect and eventually love will grow.

Mom doesn't understand why I can't go out and find my own husband. She thinks I should fall in love with a man I've dated and then get married, like everyone else.

But what happens if that passion fades? What values will we have in common? What will decide between us if we have an argument on how we should direct our lives?

In Islam, these questions are answered for us, alhamdulillah. My marriage inshaAllah will have passion, but it wont be the foundation. Islam will be our foundation.

How do I make them understand? Is it just a matter of time?

Muslim Countries: Continued

Salam!

Bismillah

The other day I wrote a post called "Muslim Countries" and I received this response in the comments and thought it would be good to address it and have a discussion.

Please keep in mind that Islam encourages us to always argue in the best way (with RESPECT) so if I see anything other than that I will go ahead and delete the comment. I didn't bring this up for a firing squad and I would really like each of you to put yourself in the situation of someone who knows nothing about (or little/ media interpretation of) Islam. :-D

Pásik Kroch: look, if Egyptian, Moroccans etc do not want European/NA tourists to come to their countries, just tell it plainly and frankly.

there is plenty nice places in South Europe/Caribic where we can spend our money.

and as for this niqab problem - main problem is the religous exception to obstacle to identification and state security.
not only in UK, but in many moslem countries were countless robberies in bank/jeweleries committed by burka/niquabed men.

so niquabi is putting over her supposed piety above the potential safety and lives of other people.

It seems childish to me.
but if someone is so self-centered.. there is no help against it.

My Response:

I think on this issue it is really all about which side you are looking from.

as for the egypt/morocco thing, I had no idea that they ask tourists to cover in those countries as tourism is a major market there. I actually don't think they ask people to do that there (but maybe one of the sisters from there can answer that question for us). I was speaking more along the lines of Saudi, which is not a tourist centered economy, where they do ask women to cover (in abaya). People tend to get upset at this, yet they want to impose similar (but anithetical) laws on other women.

As for state security and identification, it is not such a problem to have a woman officer or security guard on duty to identify women. In actuality, women who veil are creating jobs for UK/EU/NA women :-D

As for robberies, people will continue to cover their faces when they rob places regardless of whether innocent women are also covering their faces. If you have a high risk situation (like a jewelry store or a bank) have a female guard id covered women on their way in. They would generally have to be id'd before purchase or withdrawl/deposit anyway, so just move the process to to the door.

A religious person will put obeying their Creator/God/Master/Lord before everything. This is what it means to submit to God. You do the things you know are right whether or not people agree with you or make it easy for you.

I don't think that these women are self-centered. I think they are God centered. And I thank God for women like this because their modesty and piety is a breath of fresh air when surrounded by butt cheeks and boob jobs on every corner.

It is difficult to put yourself in someone elses shoes. I know because I do try to find a way to see the issue from the other perspective. I know that, in western culture, a covered face means shifty motives, but in actuality the world doesn't always work that way. And however many security issues people have brought up, I always see a potential solution without having to deny anyone their right to freedom of religion and pursuit of happiness.

Pasik: Please feel free to comment again, as I would love to continue the discussion :-) And thanks again!

Ladies: If you can think of any other specific issues that people have brought up about veiling and laws or rights of women, please feel free to post them to the comments so that we can all address them inshaAllah once and for all.

When we are all through I am convert this post (or compile a new one) to showcase all of our problems and solutions inshaAllah.

Muslim Countries

Salam!

Bismillah

I don't understand this logic...

When we want to cover in "Western" countries, we are told to "go to a Muslim country if you want to do that."

Yet when "Westerners" go to Muslim countries, they are highly insulted when someone asks them to cover up properly.

Can anyone explain this to me?

Paintings

Salam!

Bismillah

Did you know that the world's top 5 most expensive paintings were bought for a total of $712.2 million US?

How much food could that have bought? That is almost 1,800,000,000 lb (830,000,000 kilo) rice from the Sam's club down the street from my house. That is about 8,180,000,000 servings of rice.

Was it worth it?

Ugh

Salam!

Bismillah

I was on the bus today riding to class and this is what they were playing over the loudspeakers:


"American Made" Oakridge Boys

Seems everything I buy these days
has got a foreign name
From the kind of car I drive
to my video game
I`ve got a Nikon camera,
a Sony color T.V.
But the one that I love is from
the "U.S.A." and standing next to me.

My baby is "American Made"
Born and bred in the "U.S.A."
From her silky long hair to her sexy long legs
My baby is "American Made"

She looks good in her tight blue jeans
she bought in Mexico
And she loves wearing French perfume
everywhere we go
But when it comes to the lovin` heart
one thing is true
My Baby`s genuine "U.S.A."
red white and blue.

My baby is "American Made"
Born and bred in the "U.S.A."
From her silky long hair to her sexy long legs
My baby is "American Made"


It is amazing how much sexist and ethnocentric sentiments can be crammed into such a simple and repetitive song...

I wanted to vomit.

I still want to, but I'm refraining.

"Cultural Problems"

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

بسم الله

What does it really mean when people cite "cultural" differences for reasons why two Muslims should not get married?

This phrase gets bandied about quite a bit. I have heard it in my community and online a lot and while it seems pretty unassuming on the face of it, I feel like there is a much deeper meaning.

These are the things I hear when people say cultural differences are the reason a convert from the west should not marry into another culture (since this of course is most applicable to my situation, lol)
1. "She is not our (insert ethnicity here)" > Like when I hear people say "Pakistanis are for Pakistanis, Arabs are for Arabs" etc. or things like "If you dilute the gene-pool, we will lose the physical characteristics that make us *this ethinicity*" (yes I have actually heard that) "Kids will make fun of your children because they look different"

2. "Oh she is from (insert western country here) so she would not be willing to live in our home country" > How totally unfair to make this judgment on every Muslim woman from the west... There are a lot of us who would TOTALLY like to get out of here. Do you think it is comfortable to be asked where you are from when you have lived in the same town your whole life?!?!?

3. "she is a convert, so she may not be able to teach your children everything they need to know" > This can happen in the case of a convert or a born Muslim woman. I know convert women who, mashaAllah, have raised incredibly knowledgeable children.

4. "She will make you choose between us and her." >Ridiculous. Us convert women just want to be part of a Muslim family. khalas, thats all!!!!

5. "We will lose our cultural heritage, your children wont be real (insert nationality here)" > Uh... nope again. Just because a child knows a part of another culture does not mean they will know nothing of their father's culture. Oh and P.S. Nationalism is a characteristic of the Time of Ignorance before Islam, so maybe we should cut that stuff real quick.

There are more but I feel like I am really just ranting now...

This topic really confuses and hurts me a lot, because my prospects for marriage one day are going to be slim to none if this "cultural" idea is in everyone's heads.

Honestly people, our culture is ISLAM. If we don't see eye to eye, ISLAM has a solution, subhanAllah. Are you afraid to let go of your cultural Islam? That us convert women will rebel against the stuff that others have tacked on to Allah's beautiful religion? Maybe all you need is some fresh blood. Allahu alem.

What do you guys think? About inter-racial/cultural couples, about "cultural problems" about anything?

I'm really interested to hear what you have to say :-)

Also if I went too far let me know. I am aware that there are historically problems in inter-cultural couples, but I think that with firm intention and attention to the sunnah, most of that can be worked out. Islam is comprehensive.

Family: Part IV and V

PART IV: UNCLE C. AND AUNT E.

Uncle C. and Aunt E. are married. They live on a small farm outside of town and have a bunch of goats, chickens, ducks, geese, etc.

My uncle is retired from his work as an electrical repair dude and my Aunt E. works as a secretary I think at one of the doctor’s offices in town.

Aunt E. is a very quiet person and she made no comment on the way I dressed. I could tell she was surprised but didn’t feel as if it was her place to comment on the way that I dress.

Uncle C. didn’t recognize me, lol. When I turned around and gave him a big hug he was really surprised and then was like “oh I didn’t see you… I mean I didn’t know it was you… I mean I didn’t know you were coming” haha. Good save Uncle C… :-P

Neither of them made a big deal about the way I was dressed and treated me pretty much as usual.


PART V: UNCLE H. AND AUNT S.

Uncle H. and Aunt S. are also married. Uncle H. is my dad’s brother and Aunt S. is his second wife.

She didn’t say I word to me. I’m not even sure if she said hello, but I’m pretty sure that is how she usually treats me so no worries.

Uncle H. gave me a huge hug as per usual. I should also note that Uncle H. is the one that is most like my grandfather (who we called Papa) meaning he is the most awkward and most likely to say anything that comes to the top of his head, God bless him.

He said “NeverEver… how are you dressed??” I was going to answer, but of course he kept talking. “I don’t know what to call it… I don’t want to say it is Islamic… but what would you call it?” Of course he had to just awkwardly blurt that right out there, lol.

I looked up at him and said “Well Uncle H., I guess you could call it conservative.”

He said, “Conservative what?”

I said, “Conservative NeverEver.” Lol

That seemed to satisfy him, so then he asked me if it was because I knew some Amish people, HAHAHA. I told him that I did have a friend who was a Mennonite. He nodded his head and dropped the subject.

My family is so funny… LOL

Family: Part III

Salam!

Bismillah

PART III: MY GRANDMA

Today's installment will be concerning my dad's mother. I call her Grandma and she is in her mid-eighties mashaAllah. She doesn't see very well, but she is still mashaAllah a very sharp lady. I love her to distraction. :-D

Her story goes over two days, so I will try to differentiate the conversations.

Day One: Yesterday

When I first came inside she just hugged me and told me how much she loved me and how glad she was that I was there. It had been a long time since I had been to see her, astaghfirullah.

Later in the day she looked at me and said "Well aren't you going to take off your coat and hat?" lol I told her no, I was very comfortable thank you, and that was that.

She didn't say anything about it for the rest of the day, probably due to the fact that she couldn't really see me so well.

Day Two: Today

Today, a few hours after I got to my grandmother's house, she looked at me again and said "NeverEver, can you explain to me your costume?" LOL!!! I could tell she was trying to be polite and just didn't know what to call the way I was dressing. I asked "My costume?!?" and laughed a little.

She said to me "Yes, I can tell it is something special, but I don't know why you wear it." MashaAllah I told you she was a sharp lady.

I wore a much brighter scarf today :-) It is plaid and made of the colors in the backgroud.

Family 2 by chastain featuring Forever21

I told her that this is the way that I always dress, and how I am most comfortable dressing. I also told her that this was my way of telling the world that I respect myself and I expect them to do the same.

I assumed she had the same idea of those Bible verses as my Aunt, so I figured I would wait until I had my Bible and interpretation with me to approach the spiritual aspect of the way I dress. However, I believe that my social reasons for dressing as I do are very valid as well and she seemed to understand.

She nodded her head and once again that was that.

InshaAllah another update later!

Family: Itro and Part I

سلام!

بسمالله

I'm writing this post from a very small town in Arkansas where my extended family from my dad's side resides.

Today was the first day that this side of my family saw me in hijab and I wanted to let you all know how it went. InshaAllah this will take up a few posts, so I will just do a little at a time.

INTRO

First I should say ALHAMDULILLAH nothing really bad happened. There were a few weird questions and looks, but otherwise everyone was no more awkward than we normally are, lol.

The purpose of this visit was Christmas, as you all know that my family is Christian through and through. My goal was to introduce my family to the changes in my life without spilling the beans that I'm Muslim, as my dad still doesn't know and I'm not so sure that my extended family wouldn't try to cut all ties with me if they found out.

PART I: AUNT K. AND COUSIN S.

Two of the first people I saw on entering the house were my Aunt K. and my Cousin S. They each gave me a hug and we exchanged normal pleasantries... "It's so good go see you", "Its been too long", "How has life been going" etc. My Aunt immediately asked me why I was dressed the way I was.

I guess I should explain how I was dressed for the occasion, lol. I was wearing a white strapless dress with a denim jacket and a dusky blue patterned scarf with my ugg boots. Come on you guys... there was snow on the ground... my toes were coooold.

Family by chastain featuring Victoria's Secret

I explained to her (Aunt K.) that in the New Testament it says that women should cover their heads specifically in prayer, but it also says that we should always be praying, so I feel justified in covering my head all of the time. She seemed a bit taken aback by the way that I dressed and she also thought I was mistaken on the meaning of these verses, so I told her that I would (inshaAllah) send her the verse numbers as well as common interpretations.

After this quick conversation with my aunt, I sat down on the couch with my mom and my Cousin S. My cousin looked at me and just said "you look beautiful." *blush* mashaAllah and Alhamdulillah it was a really nice thing for my cousin to say and I'm glad to know I have her acceptance, at least of the way I dress. Cousin S. talked to my mom a little bit more after that about why I wear it. My mom said that she witnessed with her own eyes the way men treated me in public and how much more respectful they are now, alhamdulillah. It was really great to my have my mommy there as usual :-D!!


That is all for now...
InshaAllah I will do some more posts about this soon!!!

*oooo the suspense!!!*

An E-mail

Salam!

Bismillah

I got another e-mail today from a sister at my masjid. She brought up such a good point and I felt like I should share her experience here.

assalamu alaykum sisters

I heard the most disturbing thing today and wanted to share it with you. I was in the Target changing room trying on clothes. Two women were conversing back and forth as they were trying on their clothes. This is how the conversation went:

"Do they(Target) have a separate changing room for the men?"
"Yes, they do."
"Can you believe they are still segregating men and women?"
"Yeah, I know. I guess some women still have insecurities"
"Oh wow! This shirt needs something under it."
"I guess you can wear something under it if you don't feel comfortable."

So, I know this conversation word for word because it was just amazing how these women thought about this issue. Basically, in order to be comfortable with yourself, it means to show your body. It means to discard any conservative outlook you have or any modesty; otherwise you are "insecure" about yourself. I wanted to tell these women that it wasn't insecurity. It was value.

I think from my experience... this is actually a pretty common mindset among people where I live.

Is this common around your area? Why are women letting society take away their value? What is the benefit they see? How do we help them?

Salam!

Bismillah

Before I started to wear abaya every day because of the convenience and comfortability, my mother was very concerned that I would never be able to wear anything cute ever again because I wanted to dress "modestly."

I made this polyvore set with my mom to help her understand that there can be fashion and individuality with modesty. We had a great time and I think she felt better afterward too.

:-D

Lumber Jane by chastain featuring Forever21

Language Barriers

Salam!

Bismillah

~ I am feeling very very very included in my community, alhamdulillah. Especially the Saudi sisters have taken me under their wing and made me their favorite little convert, lol. I get invited to tea and dinner and lunch and halaqah. Alhamdulillah it is really great!
~ However... Most of the time they are very happy to speak in Arabic always. Now it should be noted that everyone in the room speaks English and is *mostly* fluent, but I am the only one not fluent in Arabic.
~ Alhamdulillah though I'm getting better at reading the context of the discussion and using my very tiny tiny vocabulary to figure out what is going on.
~ Also mashaAllah a couple of the Saudi sisters are determined to make me fluent in Arabic. Total immersion and the like, lol.

Liberty, Freedom!

Salam!

Bismillah

One day a couple weeks ago I was at Wal-Mart. I was in the produce section.

As I was walking by the peaches, I saw a little white haired Old Lady looking at me. She looked very Republican, lol, and as is my usual course of action, I gave her a big 'ol southern smile and went on about my business.

So I rounded the corner to get some parsley. I was either making falafel or burgers... anyway the parsley was necessary. As I'm calmly choosing my leafy greens I hear someone whispering behind me.

I don't really pay any attention because really... who cares what people whisper? Then my friend looks at me and goes... uh... I think she's talking to you. I was like what? Who? Huh?

I look over and who do I see but Old Lady, camped out next to the squash section, whispering (lol) "liberty... freedom... liberty... freedom..." gazing intently at my abaya and hijab covered self.

?!?!?

Don't you think that harassing me in the produce section of my local grocery store is a violation of my freedom and liberty?!?

Ugh... it seems they want us to be "liberated"... but only as long as it's THEIR kind of freedom.